Status Update

Okay so it's been a while since I posted anything here, but I feel like blogging tonight!  Sometimes you get a hankering for chicken, sometimes to hear a certain song, sometimes to go out and do something crazy like going to the mall on Christmas Eve.  But tonight I've got a hankerin' for writing, well okay, typing.  We officially got our first foster children on Veteran's Day 2011.  For those of you not aware of the date, that would be November 11.  I can't really put any details in here about them, so I won't.  But what I do want to share is that just like anything in life, the first time always seems to be the hardest, or if not the hardest it just feels strange until you get used to it. 

The first day was like cotton candy.  It was really easy, very fluffy, and kind of sweet.  Actually I would go so far as to say the first couple of days were like this.  Then came the myriad of appointments.  There's doctors, social workers, family members of the children, and numerous other specialists and counselors that the children need to be seen by to make sure they are okay.  But don't let that discourage you if you're considering foster care or adoption.  I wouldn't trade one minute of any of it.  Once you start feeling that connection with the kids you know it's all worth it.  The first time they actually cry because you're leaving them with a daycare breaks your heart and makes you feel loved at the same time. 

Along the way there are plenty of ups and downs.  We're learning how to deal with "the terrible twos" as well as other issues due to what at least one child witnessed before coming into foster care.  It's a great feeling though when you see that child take comfort just from your presence after a nightmare.  Immediately the screaming stops, and soon the light snoring begins.  Hopefully for the rest of the night until morning, but not usually likely.  Sometimes we've had to get up and give comfort several times a night.  But it's getting better. 

It's weird because you feel like a parent and not like a parent at the same time.  These kids are with you 24/7 besides whatever time is allotted for family visits.  But the really weird part is you can schedule doctor appointments without asking anyone, but if you want to get a haircut for a child you have to get permission from their parents or family. 

I've had some experience in the past raising children, but that was quite a while ago and it wasn't 24/7.  I changed diapers, fed and burped, and occasionally babysat overnight my goddaughter whom I won't name here since she's in college and it would embarrass her probably that I mentioned changing her diaper, but that's not even close to the level of commitment it takes to be a parent.  There's always that awkward moment when making appointments too.  You call the doctor and say "I need to make an appointment for my foster child".  It just feels weird.  You want to say my child, but then you know if you do that the next awkward moment will be when they ask for the child's name and you have to say their last name and then they ask for your name and then of course they notice the last name's not the same.  Wow that was a mouthful, hopefully that made sense.  It's getting late and I'm getting tired. 

Homestudy Completed Today!

Today we moved one step closer to becoming foster parents!  Our homestudy was done around 2:30 this afternoon and it seemed to go really well.  We had everything done on the checklists so that part went really quickly and there were only a few questions about our history that we pretty much were just answering again because it was already in the paperwork we had submitted a couple of months ago.  All that's left is to wait for our background checks to be completed and for the final results of the homestudy to be typed up and we will be officially licensed!  The lady doing the homestudy gave us a wonderful suggestion when we mentioned the age group we were wanting to be licensed for.  Originally we wanted to be licensed for children 6 and under, but she suggested we go up to age 9 in case we receive a 5 or 6 year old that might end up being foster to adopt which takes a lot of time.  We are both so excited to be almost all of the way through this first part of the process and can't wait to see where God leads us next!

Another step done!

Alright! Today we took our first aid/cpr class given by an organization called Keep the Beat. The instructor did a great job giving the class, the demonstrations were right on the money and I was very surprised by how much cpr and basic first aid has changed since I joined the army 10 years ago.  The instructer told us it's usually about every five years they totally revamp first aid and cpr so I guess it's gone through a few cycles since I've taken the whole course.  But the great news is we are now certified for two years in first aid and cpr.  All that's left in order for us to become foster parents is to get the results of our background check and complete a home study.  We're almost there! 

Oh yeah, on another note my wife and I found a great store here in Puyallup with a lot of great quality, used baby furniture, clothes, toys, and other stuff at reasonable prices.  It's called My Kid's Closet and if you live in the area they are in the same shopping center with Best Buy, Men's Wearhouse, Ross, and Bed, Bath, and Beyond which they are directly in front of.  They have a lot of great stuff and the owners are really nice.

Another step down, two to go!

We've gotten a little closer to completing the process to become foster parents.  Yesterday I got the results of my TB test and we both got out fingerprints done so our background checks can be completed.  Malinda will get her TB results tomorrow and then all we have left is our First Aid/CPR class and the home study.  We've checked in with Youth For Christ to find out when we can get our homestudy scheduled and our First Aid/CPR class is this coming weekend.  We cleaned off most of the toys, car seats, strollers, booster seats, and high chair that we bought at garage sales over the past several weeks and finished setting up the rooms.  It's hard to set up the rooms because you never know what kids you're going to get, so we did the best we could.  We even have an extra twin bed stashed away in the garage just in case.  We have each room set up for a twin size and toddler bed, with one room completely free of beds and full of toys for a play room.  We are so excited to get done with this whole process and just start taking in children.  It seems everyone has an opinion about foster care.  When we were getting things at garage sales the more talkative people would ask how many kids we have and how old are they.  They were almost all very supportive when we told them our answer that we were collecting these things for foster children we don't have yet so we don't know the ages.  I can't believe we are so close to finishing this process and will soon be officially licensed foster parents.  I will keep you updated when we get our homestudy and first aid done!

A wonderful journey!

I thought it might be a good idea to share with others how the process of becoming a foster parent goes as we go through it ourselves.  We attempted to start this process many times starting many years ago.  One of the problems we kept running into was my being in the military.  One of the things required to become a foster parent is completion of PRIDE classes.  They are frequently scheduled on weekends, weeknights, or all weekdays.  It's considered a 30 hour class and there's a lot of useful information, but for the first few tries my wife and I were never able to complete the full 30 hours because something would always come up at work.  This time we were determined to let nothing stop us!  We signed up for a class through Youth For Christ (whom we are also going through for our licensing), that would run on Friday and Saturday for two weekends.  It wasn't long after we signed up to take these classes that I found out a lot of people were going to be going for training and I was much needed to be available to work every day while they were gone, which of course was while the classes would be going on!  So we prayed a lot, I talked a lot with the other people that were also staying behind, and praise God it all worked out and we were able to finally complete the training!  Along with the training we had to complete a very large packet which included a lot of information.  We basically had to tell our life stories, as well as a plan for how we planned to raise and discipline these children that would be coming into our lives.  My wife and I have no children of our own unless you count our two Shih-tzus so the answers we gave were pretty much based on how we've helped out with other people's kids and what we've learned from watching Supernanny!  Don't worry though, if you have no idea how you're going to do it, disciplining foster children is explained very well during the classes.  Plus you have to complete 12 additional hours of training each year to remain licensed.  In addition to this type of training you have to complete a first aid/cpr/hiv training.  The really good thing is that all of this training is given to you for free.  All we have left to do in order to receive our license is get fingerprinted for a background check, complete the first aid/cpr/hiv training, get TB tests, and get our homestudy done.  A homestudy involves a social worker coming to your home, interviewing you, and ensuring that your home is ready with all you need for the children.  There is a pretty long list of what you need, but they do provide the list for you so you can be ready!

Some people I work with have strange senses of humor, some are very blunt, and some are just really rude.  I mention this because a lot of questions have come my way from people I work with and sometimes I'm just not sure how to take it.  The first one is "don't you make a lot of money taking in foster kids?"  Anybody that does foster care can tell you it's not the money that drives you to take on foster care.  From what I understand it's only about three or four hundred dollars a month per kid depending on their needs.  That's probably not enough to cover the increase in power, water, and food bills, not to mention clothing, bedding, school supplies, and personal hygiene items that they will need.  The reason we want to take care of children is because we feel God has given us a nice home with room for children and hearts to love these children and take care of them.  Another question really hurt my heart to hear: "what if you get a child of a different race that is handicapped?"  (this was phrased much differently but I didn't even want to type how it was originally said.)  First and foremost I don't care what race of child God wants in our home and He's not going to give us anything we can't handle.  Also we've been told that when you are offered children you are told what they know about them and given a choice.  You will never be coerced into anything you're not ready for and saying no will not keep them from calling you later to ask about taking other children. 

We're both really excited about this journey we're on and looking forward to all that's to come.  I hope to share as much as possible here with anyone looking for information about foster care.  Of course we can't share names of any children we take in, but we will share stories of experiences good and bad in hopes that it may help or encourage others either going down this road as well or even just considering it.